The Legacy I Drag Behind
by GreysAddict2013
Summary: Meredith finds herself at loss when she turns 18. Her and her best friend fly across the country in hope to find happiness. But in order to find happiness she must get over the anger that resides inside her. Will one person make her anger disappear, or will it pile onto the mountain that's already so high?
1. Chapter 1

"Meredith Grey?" A male voice said from behind her. She didn't quite know where she was or who could be calling her name. She turned her head around to see a semi-familiar face looking at her. Meredith knew him from somewhere. This place was where her mom did her residency, she thought. Maybe he was one of her friends. The strange man trotted towards her. As he crept closer and closer she thought hard and still, no memory of the man. Who was he? "Meredith…I…What are you doing here?"

"I don't believe that is any of your business." Meredith replied to the strange man, with the attitude that she swore to herself she would leave behind, behind in Boston with her mother. 13 years ago her mother took her across the country, and never looked back. Never explained why to her either. At the age of 18 she was able to make her own decisions, and that included running away. Her mother resented her for everything, from standing in her way of her career to her failed relationships. It's not Meredith's fault her mother was a surgery junkie who never had time for her let alone men. It was aggravating, so she took off and flew across the country with her mom's credit card.

"Oh, I'm terribly sorry. I don't know if you remember me, but I'm Richard Webber, your mother and I were great friends during our residencies. You're so grown up. Is your mother here with you?"

"Uh…No…I…I came alone." The man, Richard, looked at her strange. Almost like she was broken. "I'm going to look around." She told him as she began to turn and walk away.

"Wait, Meredith, does your mother know you're out here?"

"I don't know does she?" Meredith turned and walked away leaving "Richard" to ponder the question. Reverse psychology, worked every time.

XXX

She wondered the halls turning corners, staring at nurses and doctors just like her mother. She came across this man wearing the light blue scrubs. He was gorgeous, perfect hair, perfect eyes. The eyes were so dreamy. She hadn't even realized that she was starting at him until his head turned and met her eyes. She ran to the closest door in reach. She traveled inside only to realize that it wasn't a closet but an on call room. With beds. She saw the door handle turn slightly, she lay on the ground and rolled under the bed to hide. She heard the door close and feet sweep next to her and pass, and the door close again. She let out a sigh. "Ah ha!" she heard someone exclaim.

She rolled out from under the bed and saw the dreamy eyes staring at her. "Crap."

"Crap? You're lying on the ground, and all you think to say is crap?" The stranger asked her as she began to stand up. "I'm Derek."

"Meredith." She told him as she began to walk out the door.

"Would you like to get a drink with me?"

"I…um…I…I have to go." She responded as she began to bolt out the door when she felt a hand on her shoulder.

"I would really enjoy a drink, will you please do me a favor and have a drink with me. I've had a bad day and I'm in need of a drink. And you… you look like you need a drink as well." He looked her up and down and saw her disheveled look. He knew she'd had a rough day too.

She stared into those dreamy eyes and melted. How could she say no, besides the fact that she was only 18, "You don't even know me."

"That's why I want to buy you a drink."

"No, now if you excuse me I have to go."

"Where? I'll drive you. My shift is over."

"Um… where I go is none of your business, and I have a ride, thank you." Meredith turned and walked out the door.

Derek stood in the on call room just staring wide eyed the piece of wood that had just closed.

XXX

"_Mom, it's not that big of a deal." Meredith told her mother as she stood in the outskirts of the kitchen, while her mother stood by the fridge. Meredith knew that if she made eye contact this conversation would go downhill, so she just stared at the ground. _

_ "Meredith, I don't have time for calls from your school. I am a surgeon, and I have surgeries to do. Don't tell me it's no big deal. For god's sake you are not a child anymore, and Meredith look me in the eye. I taught you better than that."_

_ "Mom, it's just high school, calm down. I'm a minor; it's not going to go on my record." Meredith fought back the urge to look her mother in the eye; she was not going to give her heartless mother the satisfaction. _

_ "Meredith Grey, you turn 18 tomorrow which makes you an adult. If you want to go to med school and become a surgeon you have to look me in the eye, how are you going to look your attending in the eye if you can't even look your own mother in the eye?"_

_ Meredith turned to her mother and shot her a disgraceful look. "What makes you think I want to go to med school mom? What makes you think I want to become anything like you? For you information you are not my mother, you may be my mom, but you are not my mother. A mother is loving, and caring. They sit by you bed when you don't feel good. They don't leave you at the age of 10 to fend for yourself. You make my life miserable, I don't have a mother. I sit here in this boring house thinking about all the times you have stood me up at school plays and spelling bees. You always say that you are saving lives and people need you. Have you ever thought that your own daughter needs you? When I was 12 and got my period and had no one to talk to, and was scared because at that age you don't know anything about that. I can't even talk to you anymore." _

The green eyes opened to find the one place she vaguely remembered. From the memories she placed herself at her old house. In her old room, very pink old room. "What the hell happened?" she asked herself. She stood up and began to wonder around the house. She knew her mother kept this place, but had never visited. She only knew the address. But how the hell did she get home last night. She heard a sound coming from her parent old room, the one where they used to be happy. At least they looked happy to her. But who was she to tell she was five. She wondered to the room where her parents used to sleep thinking that maybe happy memories would come sprawling back. But instead they didn't. "Jake? What the hell, get out of my parents room." She looked at her best friend sitting by the bed looking at pictures from her so called childhood.

"Hey sleepy head, first of all good morning. Second it's not your parent's old room. They split like 13 years ago, remember? What's wrong with you?" Jake looked up at Meredith, and knew something was wrong.

"Nothing I'm fine." Meredith looked at her long lasting friend. He knew her like the back of his hand. Saying 'I'm fine' isn't going to fly with him. She took the chance anyway.

"Meredith you can't tell me your fine. I see right through it. What is your problem?"

"It's just… nothing. It's nothing

"Meredith it's not nothing. You have to tell me what's wrong so I can fix it. You have so many problems you try to solve on your own. I won't let you. Now be the eighteen year old you are and grow up. You have to lose your pride around me.

"Fine, but I still hate you."

"Good, now spill!"

"It's just this place… I thought that being here I would see how it used to be a happy place. But now I see that it never was. As a 5 year old you don't hear your parents screaming at each other. You don't see everything that's wrong. But now looking back at it I do. Everything! Ellis yelling at my father and looking at me with the cold eyes that showed regret, the regret that I always knew was because of me. Looking back at this house I thought I used to be happy, and I don't even know why I thought it. I had nothing to be happy about."

"Mer, your life has never been happy. You came out here to find some way to be happy. Now go and find it. Why don't we go back to the hospital and ask that guy you were talking to, what's his name?"

"Derek. I think it was Derek. I don't really remember."

"Right, Derek. Why don't you say yes to that drink he offered you? Meredith you deserve to be happy. Whether you think so or not, you do. So like I said swallow your pride and have fun."

"Okay."

"Now go take a shower, and wash away the alcohol off you. You smell like a dirty bar."

"Thanks a bunch, you're a great friend." She laughed at his comment.

"Hey! It's what I'm here for."

Meredith sat on the bathroom floor leaving the shower running, feeling to dizzy from her hangover to even stand in the shower.

_"Where the hell do you think you're going young lady?" Ellis screamed as she ran down the stairs with a backpack and a suitcase lugging behind her. _

_ "Anywhere but here!" Meredith looked at her mother just as she was about to turn the brass knob on the door that led out into the world. She was going to be free, free from her mother and free from the dreaded hospital she spent years sitting in. _

_ "How the hell are you going to get your life together if you run away from every little problem you have? Huh! Answer me that Meredith. You're incompetent, and everything in your life shows it."_

_ "Don't you dare call me incompetent? You have no right. You made me this way. This…" Meredith took a pause and pointed to herself. "…Is completely 100 percent your fault. So yes I am leaving and you have no right to stop me." Meredith looked at her mother's face. Ellis was in complete awe. The first time in Meredith's life that her mother had no witty comment, Ellis was obviously in shock. Her daughter had never spoken to her like that. _

The conversation jumped out of her head as she heard a knock at the door. "Mer, are you okay. I hear the shower going but I'm not convinced you are in it.

"Yeah I'm f… I'm good." Meredith caught herself not wanting to start the 'I'm fine' conversation again.

"You sure, it kind of sounds like you're crying." Jake noticed. Meredith hadn't even realized that tears were falling from her eyes. She just sat naked on the ground, and didn't say a word. "Mer, I'm coming in whether you're decent or not." The door knob began to turn slightly, and Jake's face appeared through the crack. His eyes looked at the pulsing body curled up on the bathroom floor. "Oh my god, Mer? What the hell."

"I…can't…feel…anything" Meredith said between sobs.

"Meredith!" Jake sat next to her and pulled her body close to his, and let her cry.

"Jake," she spoke once her sobs began to settle down. "I have never been happy. How am I supposed to start now?"

"Everyone finds someone who makes them happy. You just need to get out there and find that someone." Jake helped her up and led her to the shower. "Now get in the shower and get dressed." He ordered her.

"Okay."

Once out of the shower, Meredith got dressed. She washed off her feelings from this morning, and called "Jake I'm going out." She yelled as she flew down the stairs. The evidence of her breakdown in the bathroom completely disappeared.

"Mer, are you okay?" He looked at her just to make sure. She actually looked cute. "Where are you planning on going?"

"I think I'm going to try and find that Derek guy. So I guess I'm heading to the hospital."

"Good. Call me if you need me. I love you mer."

"Yeah, yeah. Love you too." Growing up Jake was like her brother. Lived next door since she moved to Boston they had been inseparable ever since.

XXX

Meredith walked through the same doors as she had the night before. It all looked the same, the hustle and bustle of a hospital. The normal thing she was used to back in Boston. She approached the front desk and asked the nurse "Is there a Doctor Derek…?" crap she thought. She didn't even know his last name. They weren't going to tell her his name.

"Shepherd? Dr. Derek Shepherd?" the nurse finished for her.

"Yeah, that's him." She made sure she looked convincing that she knew him.

"Yeah he's here. Want me to page him for you?"

"Um…" she hesitated due to the fact that he probably doesn't even remember her. "No, that's okay. Do you know when his shift ends?"

"Should be off in a few minutes."

She thanked the lady at the front desk, and walked towards the coffee cart by the entrance. A little caffeine never hurt anyone. As she sat in line to get herself a coffee, she noticed a man get in line behind her. Then she heard that voice. The voice she would recognize from anywhere. "Crap!"

"Again with the crap, are you following me?"

"Psh…No, why would I be following you? I don't even know you." She turned to look him in the eye. Bad idea.

"You seem nervous. Are you nervous? You keep turning up at the hospital. You have no bracelet on, so you're not a patient. You might have family here, but your face proves otherwise. Usually when people have family their upset, and you're not upset. So, that leads me to believe you are following me." He said with his dreamy charm.

"First of all, wow, you sure do know how to read a person, and second of all just because I'm here doesn't mean I'm following you. Maybe I'm here for someone else."

"Yeah like who?"

"Like that guy over there." She pointed to the tall black guy she spoke to yesterday afternoon.

"Oh, you mean Richard Webber, the chief of surgery? Why would you be here to speak to the chief of surgery?"

"That's for me to know and you to never find out." She looked towards Richard's direction only to see him walking over here. "Crap!" she muttered under her breath.

"Again with the crap." He looked at her and smiled.

"Dr. Shepherd. Meredith?" Richard looked towards Meredith as he walked by.

"Wait? You were serious?" Derek asked Meredith.

"Would I lie Dr. Shepherd." Meredith said playfully.

"Earlier it was Derek, now it's Dr. Shepherd?" Meredith stepped forward and ordered her coffee. When she received it she took a sip. "So you drink it black huh?" he noticed.

"Yeah, it is my forte." She put of a flirty smile.

"My shift is over, you wanna go get a drink?" Derek looked at her with pleadingly. "Don't say no again. I don't think I'd be able to take another rejection."

With a laugh she responded, "It's four in the afternoon, you drink this early?"

"Well, it's been a rough day, and it's five o'clock somewhere right?"

"Fine I'll have a drink with you. But you're buying, and I have to warn you I'm not a cheap date."

"Woah! Who said this was a date. I just want company while I drink the sorrows from my day away."

"I never said it was a date."

"Yes you did."

"You're confusing me. Stop or I'll let you drink your sorrows away by yourself."

"Fine! Let's go."

XXX

Derek's fingers brushed her palm, and gripped her hand as they made their way across the street to the bar. She looked up at his dreamy eyes, and she saw his cocky surgeon grin. She couldn't help herself, she smiled back. They took some of the last steps before crossing the threshold into the bar. Derek's eyes wondered to the open table in the back corner of the bar. He led her, using their attached hands, to the table.

"What are you drinking tonight Meredith?" he asked her as she began to sit down. Her heart almost popped out of her chest. She could get used to the way he said her name.

"Um…I guess tequila?" she looked at him. He seriously didn't realize she wasn't 21 yet? Oh, what the hell. Now at least she won't have to dig it up from the house again like last night.

"Seriously? Okay, I will be right back." Derek trotted up to the bar and looked at the bar tender. "Hey Joe, double malt scotch, and a shot of tequila."

"Aye, Aye Sir." Joe looked at him and smiled. Joe handed him the drinks, and he headed back towards the table. He looked at the beautiful woman sitting at the table, eyes staring into space. She really did look like she had a long day. He set the drinks on the oak looking surface and looked into her eyes. "Meredith? Meredith, can I ask you a question?" He asked her as he took a seat across from her. He liked the name Meredith. He could definitely say that name one hundred times a day and not have to worry about it getting old.

"That depends, is it about my life? My family?" she asked him as she took the shot glass off the table and poured it down her throat. She hated the burning feeling in mouth, but it always made her motherly problems disappear. Well that is the idea right?

Derek laughed, "Um…no…not really."

"What's so funny?"

"You just don't seem like the type of person who could down a shot of tequila that fast. But okay back to the question, I'm just a little curious as to why you look like you got hit by a bus?"

"Well if that's the case then there's a lot about me that will surprise you, and very that's a very nice question to ask a girl who you had to beg to get a drink with you." She responded hastily.

"If that's the case then I will be glad to learn all these surprising things. And I was just curious, 'Cause you look like you had a worse day then mine, and mine was pretty bad."

"Well, if you must no. I still am a little hung over from last night. Seriously, how bad was your day?"

"Hung over huh? Well, my soon to be ex-wife accepted a job at Seattle Grace. The reason I work there was because I tried, but obviously failed, to escape her in New York."

Meredith looked at him with sympathy eyes. However she definitely had it worse. "Wow, that's rough. I think I still win."

"Oh really, is that so?" He said flirtily.

"Yep! But it's not really a bad day, mostly a bad few years." She said as she took another shot of tequilla

"Well, why was your year so bad?"

"Can't tell you."

"You can't tell me? I just poured my heart out to you and you can't tell me?"

"Nope, and I don't call that pouring your heart out.

"Well why can't you tell me?"

"Because you will freak out and stop buying me drink. And god knows I like drinks."

"Doubt it. I like drinks to, and the company they come with." Derek looked at her with the I-want-you-in-bed-look.

"Oh, don't look at me like that.

"Like what?"

"You know what. And I'm just trying to enjoy myself here. There is no need for your face. I see it too often on other men. I don't need if from you."

"At least tell me your last name so I can at least find you when we leave."

"Believe me, you don't want to know my last name."

"I bet I do."

"Nope, it will give away too much. Too much I am not willing to share yet."

"Come on, please?"

"No way in hell. You'll stop buying me drinks and run for the hills."

"I highly doubt it. Last names are kind of common. I doubt I'd be able to put two and two together."

"Believe me you will."

"Well then, try me."

"Can't!"

"Can."

"Can't!"

"Can."

"Fine, but you have to promise me you won't freak out. You can't stop buying me drinks. You can definitely not run for the hills, or freak out, promise?"

"Okay I promise."

"Grey. My last name is Grey."

"Grey? As in Ellis Grey? Like one of the best female surgeons in the United States, Grey?" he said with the tone of his voice getting louder and louder by the second. Once the name of Ellis Grey was mentioned the bar full of doctors turned heads.

**Okay this is a longish chapter. So don't expect every chapter to be this long. I'm not quite sure how this chapter turned out, so I would appreciate it if you guys let me know what you think. Lots of reviews. I'm still debating on whether to continue. LET ME KNOW! Thanks :D**


	2. Chapter 2

**I wanted to put a flashback in this chapter somewhere I just couldn't find where and what it should be about. But I am pleased with it. **

"God is that all people think about? How Ellis is the best, let's all turn our heads when her name is mentioned." Meredith screamed at the pedestrians as she shot up out of her seat. "Seriously people, no need to eavesdrop on other people's conversations."

"Meredith?" Derek said in a hushed tone so only she could hear. "Are you alright?"

"Yeah, it's just kind of maddening how she just gets away with ruining my life. But all people care about is her surgical abilities." She explained as she began to sit down.

"You want to talk about it?"

"No!" Meredith responded quickly, "You know it's kind of funny."

"What is?" Derek became confused, at this sudden turn in their conversation.

"I don't even know you, and you seem to know all of my problems. I don't usually discuss them with people I want to see again." Meredith seductively answered his question.

"Ah, so now you want to see me again."

"I…I…I did NOT say that."

"Yeah you kind of did, and the feeling is mutual. I would totally see you again. Why don't we go somewhere where we can talk about not seeing each other again?"

"I guess." She looked down at the ground as Derek helped her up and wrapped his arm around her waist to steady her as they proceeded out the door of Joe's. She hadn't realized how much tequila she has had.

"My car's over at the hospital. Why don't you wait here and I'll go get it." He settled her down onto a bench outside of the bar.

"Yeah, okay."

_"Mommy Mommy, can I go play in the park?" Meredith asked her mother, referring to the one they passed on their way into their brand new driveway. "Please mommy? I promise I will be back before dinner."_

_ Ellis looked at her pleading daughter, "Okay Meredith, but remember only a few minutes"._

_ "You got it." Meredith said before running off towards the playground. She ran past two houses that looked like kids inhabited. She entered the school playground and was immediately bombarded by three boys not much older than her. _

_ "You are not allowed to be here!" The boy yelled into her face. He was tall and scary, but Meredith knew she could take on anyone. She was fearless._

_ "What do you mean I'm not allowed to be here, it's a park?" Meredith stood on her tippy toes to become just a little taller, and stared into the boy's eyes._

_ "You heard him. No new kids allowed. It's the rules." Another boy said. This boy was skinny, smaller, much smaller. _

_Meredith was just under eye level. Again she stared into his eyes and said "Oh yeah, what makes you think I'm new." Meredith put air quotes around the word new. _

"_Well we've never seen you before." The third boy said. He was fat, much fatter than the first two. _

"_Jerry, you know you're not allowed to talk to the newbies, that's Johnny's job." The second boy said. Meredith figured out this little group with in the 2 minutes she's been talking to them. _

"_Ralph, Jerry, would you both just shut up." The boy Meredith presumed to be Jonny, the 'leader', said. Jerry was the stupid one, the one that doesn't get sarcasm, or who answers the rhetorical questions. Ralph, well he was the follower, the one who did everything Johnny told him to. These kids think they're going to beat her. Meredith stood her ground, and became impatient. She began tapping her foot, and smiled. Johnny turned his head and glared at her. "What do you think you're doing?" _

"_I'm tapping my foot, isn't that obvious?" Meredith looked at him with a smile still spread across her face. _

"_I'm not an idiot…" Johnny was beginning to say, but was interrupted by Meredith._

"_Well, that's where we disagree."_

"_You're going to be sorry you said that."_

"_Oh yeah, and why is that?" Meredith looked at Johnny as he took his hand and began to clench in into a fist. He began to pull his hand back in a wind up, but before he could follow through with the punch he was lying on the ground. Meredith shook out her hand and smiled._

"_Oh, so now who's sorry?" Meredith laughed as she saw him squirming around on the ground in pain. She looked at Jerry and Ralph whose eyes widened and ran off in the direction of a house. _

"_That…was…AWESOME!" Some boy said as he stepped out from under the slide._

"_Thanks," Meredith responded, still with a huge grin on her face. _

"_No one has ever punched Johnny; he's the one who usually gives the punches. I'm Jake by the way." The boy walked towards her and extended his hand. "How old are you?"_

"_I'm Meredith, and I'm 8." Meredith responded "How old is he?" Meredith pointed to Johnny who was still lying on the ground, rolling around in pain. _

"_He's 11…" Jake just got in before some lady came running up behind her, Ralph and Jerry followed the lady into the park. _

"_Oh, my baby, what happened?" The lady asked Johnny as she knelt down next to him._

"_She punched me." He told her between his sobs. _

"_You punched my son?" The lady screamed as she turned around looking straight into Meredith's eyes. "You must be the new neighbor who moved in. I should have known you were going to be trouble. The minute I heard your mother was single, and a surgeon."_

"_Meredith! Meredith I told you a few minutes." Ellis yelled as she ran onto the scene. "Meredith? What did you do now?" Ellis looked at the boy who was crying and bleeding. Meredith hadn't realized he was bleeding._

"_Nothing," Meredith lied to her mother._

"_Meredith Elizabeth Grey, don't you dare lie to me."_

"_Imighthavepunchedhim," Meredith mumbled._

"_How many times have I told you no mumbling, it makes you look weak. I can't believe you did this. Your first day here and you're already making trouble." Ellis turned to the lady that was taking care of her son, "I'm sorry this won't happen again."_

"_You better hope not." The lady said as she stood up and carried her son home._

Meredith ran through that memory in her head as she slowly began to fall asleep due to the alcohol in her system. Soon after Derek returned with the car. He opened the door to his black BMW and looked towards the bench he sat Meredith down just moments ago. She was now lying down, and sleeping. At least she looked like she was sleeping. Derek walked over to her. "Meredith?" he asked but she didn't respond. He placed one arm under her torso and another under the angle her knees made. As soon as he held her in his arms, her head became nuzzled in the crook of his neck. He slowly placed her in the passenger seat, careful not to stir her. As he made the drive across the dark Seattle streets he took glances at her sleeping body every so often. Her pain and troubles seemed to disappear as her state became deeper and deeper.

XXX

Her eye lids slowly began to peel apart, and the only thing she could see was a bright light shining into her pupils. She couldn't help but wonder where she was, and why she was looking into the sun. From what she remembered her room had one window, and was always covered with a shade. As her eyes began to adjust to the light she realized she was nowhere near home. She looked out of the window to see the Seattle skyline just beyond the water. Where the hell was she? Her head ached in pain as she slowly began to sit up. "What the hell happened last night?" she asked herself not expecting an answer.

"You drank a lot of tequila, that's what happened." Derek laughed as he sat at the kitchen table only a few feet away drinking a cup of coffee and reading the paper. He looked at her, hair disheveled and body weak, as she pulled her legs over the bed and began to stand up only to lose her balance and fall back on the bed. Derek stood up and poured her a cup of coffee. He walked the few feet over to the side of the bed and handed the steaming cup of black liquid along with an Aspirin.

"What the hell… who the hell…?" She asked as she took the cup and swallowed the Aspirin. She knew it was going to be a long day, hangover and in a location that was strange. Should be fun, she thought sarcastically.

"Well I guess I should have known you wouldn't have remembered last night."

"Did we…well, you know…?" Meredith looked at him wondering. She could never control herself when she drank tequila.

"No, we didn't. I slept on the couch." He pointed behind him, at a couch covered in blankets and pillows.

"Oh, good." She looked at him. He was quite a dreamy man. Then it hit her, Derek the guy from the on call room. "You're Derek, aren't you?"

"I am indeed. We had a deep conversation last night after we left the bar." Derek looked at Meredith and smiled.

"Oh well you can't hold me accountable for anything I said. I was really really drunk. Like really drunk, I better have not said anything embarrassing." Meredith spoke as her cheeks began to blush.

"I'm kidding," Derek laughed. "I left you to sit on a bench to get my car, and when I returned you were passed out."

"Oh my god, that's even worse."

"You had quite a few drinks last night." Derek looked at her and held out a hand to help her up, "breakfast?" he asked.

"I don't eat breakfast." She said as she took his hand and stood up.

"What? Everybody eats breakfast. It's the most important meal of the day." He responded as he led her to the small table across from the tiny, so called, kitchen.

"Yeah, well when you can't cook, leftovers become your best friend. I once tried to make toast, and I almost lit the kitchen on fire, so I have never been allowed to touch anything in the kitchen except the fridge."

"Well then you'll love what I have made."

"You cook?" Meredith's asked with complete shock wiped across her face.

"Of course I cook. I grew up with a mother and 4 sisters; if I didn't know how to cook I'd be really surprised."

"Oh! So what did you make?" Meredith looked into his blue eyes and asked.

"Just sit, and let me get it for you." Derek walked over to the 'kitchen' and grabbed a plate out of the cabinet above his head and started placing food onto it. From the view Meredith had she couldn't see what it was.

"So, a trailer, in the middle of the woods?" Meredith asked him confused.

"Yeah it's comfortable, much better than the brownstone in Manhattan." Derek turned around holding the plate covered in blueberry pancakes and crisp pieces of bacon.

"Yumm… I love pancakes." She stared at the food that was being placed in front of her. She ripped the fluffy pancakes in pieces and put one in her mouth before Derek was able to hand her a fork. "These… these are fantastic pancakes." She mumbled with her mouth full of the blueberry pancakes.

"Oh don't I know it," Derek laughed.

"Don't make fun of me. I'm really hungry."

"I bet you are and I'm not laughing, it's just that I made these for my ex-wife every Sunday in the beginning of our marriage. You know before we were caught up in our residencies. She never had any reaction to them like this. I could swear, every time I saw her take a bite she cringed slightly." Derek confessed.

"But you continued to make them for her, even though she never had the heart to tell you she hated them." Meredith responded with a smile. She loved how he confessed everything to her, and they haven't even known each other for more than a week. "You totally are laughing at me."

"I'm not laughing"

"Don't lie to me, you totally are laughing. I like to eat is that a problem." Meredith said as she swallowed the pancake that was currently residing in her mouth.

"I find it cute."

"What, that I like to eat? It is not cute, it's humiliating, I am not cute."

"Oh, you are to, adorable even."

"That's it; I've heard enough I'm leaving."

"Is that right? How do you plan to get back to your car at the hospital? Are you going to walk? It seems far; personally I've never done it, but be my guest."

"Ugh…" Meredith began to become irritated. With a tilt of the head and an ear to ear smile on Derek's face, Meredith walked straight out the trailer doors. She pulled out her phone, and dialed number 1 on her speed dial. "Jake, I need a ride home."

**I hope you guys like it so far. I love hearing the reviews and everything, they are a huge encouragement. I feel like Meredith is a tough person, she has been through so much. This flashback is completely different that a lot I have read on this site. I like it, it shows her true character. **


	3. Chapter 3

"_Meredith, how many times have I told you not to get drunk and sleep with random guys?"_ Jake reprimanded.

She sighed before she said, "I didn't sleep with anyone. I just need a ride home, please just come get me." Meredith begged into the phone.

"_Fine, where are you?"_ Jake asked.

"How the hell am I supposed to know Jake, I was drunk last night and some guy took me home." Meredith responded.

"_Meredith, Meredith, what are we going to do with you?" _Jake said as he shook his head in disappointment._ "Why don't you ask him, so I can pick you up?" _Jake began to become frustrated. Meredith was so damn stubborn it was ridiculous.

"There is no way in hell I am going back in there," Meredith said.

"Meredith stop being your stubborn self and get your ass in that house and ask the address." Jake yelled through the phone.

"FINE," Meredith yelled back only to catch Derek staring at her from the deck.

"I'll drive you home on my way to the hospital." She heard Derek call from the door leading into his trailer.

"Oh, so now you're an eavesdropper, and no thanks! I am not going to get in that car with you. You're going to laugh at me again. I've had enough humiliation for the short amount of time we've talked. Plus I don't want to go home." Meredith said while she was trying to avoid his eyes. Eventually giving in, she stared into his bright blue eyes and just melted.

"_Geese Meredith, let the guy drive you where ever you want to go. I really don't feel like going out. Remember you came here to be happy, not fine, not okay, but happy. And plus I have no idea where you are. It's not like you have a locating device in you where I can just look it up." _Jake pleaded into the phone.

"Ugh, you think for an hour you could get off your lazy ass and be a friend for once." Meredith said into the phone responding to Jake. "I thought we were leaving, and if I hear one word Derek I will jump out of that car no matter how fast we are going." She said towards Derek.

"Right." Derek said as he ran and grabbed his keys. He shoved the door open and leapt of his deck. "The cars unlocked, you can get in."

"Bye Jake." Meredith said as she shut her phone not waiting for an answer. "I'm getting really sick of your attitude. It's not necessary." Meredith called to Derek as he opened her door.

"Just get in the damn car Meredith" Derek yelled, he knew that his stern voice would make her get in the car.

"Ah! A gentleman, who would have known," Meredith said sarcastically.

"Ha ha, very funny, now please just get in the car." Derek practically begged. Meredith got in the car as she let out a sigh. This was the one place she didn't want to be, especially not sober and hung-over. "So…" Derek began to say but was suddenly cut off.

"What did I say? Do you not listen? I said not one word from you." Meredith looked at Derek in complete seriousness.

"I thought you were joking." Derek said as he laughed.

"Does it look like I was joking" Meredith responded. Derek didn't respond he just stared at the road in front of him. All Meredith wanted to do was laugh, but she knew better. She was taught at a young age how to hide her emotions.

**FLASHBACK**

"_What the hell were you thinking Meredith? We just moved here, you can't go around hitting other kids. You have to learn to control that anger. God, what am I going to do with you?" Ellis sternly told her daughter as they were walking home from the park._

"_He was going to punch me, so I just thought I would do it to him first." Meredith responded to her mother as silent tears began to roll down her cheek. _

"_Meredith I don't want excuses." Ellis told her daughter as she looked down, "and how many times have I told you not to cry, that crying is for the weak? Grey's don't cry, never have, and never will." Ellis told her daughter as she dragged her into their empty home. "We are going to the hospital; I have paperwork I have to fill out."_

"_Okay." Meredith told her mother. As she wiped the stray tear off her face. There was no way she was arguing with her after the fight she had with that little boy. _

"_Change that shirt. I will not have you embarrass me in front of my new colleagues." Meredith looked down to her jean pants and her ripped t-shirt she usually wore to bed._

"_Okay," She sighed as she ran upstairs to find a shirt that was reasonable to wear. She settled on a pink tank top._

"_Get in the car, and I will be out in a second." Ellis told her daughter. Meredith walked outside only to find Jake, the boy from the playground, playing with a soccer ball. _

"_Hey Meredith, wanna play?" Jake called over to her when he saw her staring at him._

"_I can't I have to go to the hospital with my mom. She has work to do." Jake saw the hurt in Meredith's eyes. _

"_Are you going to go to school tomorrow?" Jake asked her._

"_I think so, why?" Meredith looked at him curiously._

"_Well, I thought you'd want someone to explain things to you. How things work." _

"_That sounds good thanks."_

"_Meredith, what are you doing? I told you to get in the car, I'm going to be late." Meredith heard her mother yell as she walked out the front door._

"_Bye Jake"_

"_Bye Meredith"_

_Meredith climbed into the car, and leaned her head against the window. She took in the new scenery that she will eventually know by heart. Know every leaf on the trees, and every rock on the ground. Massachusetts was kind of cool; it was nothing like the last place she lived in. LA was cool and everything, but it was sunny all the time. Meredith hated the sun. They pulled into the parking lot of her mother's new hospital. "Meredith this is a big deal for me, I am head of my department, so I don't want to hear any complaints, you got it. All that comes out of your mouth is hello, thank you, and no thank you. Are we clear Meredith?"_

"_Yes mother." Meredith told her mother as they sat still in the car. All emotions hidden, even though all she wanted to do was cry, yell, and scream. Her mother went and unbuckled and stepped out of the car. Meredith followed her mother's lead and stepped out of the car as well. Ellis took Meredith's hand and the pair began to walk into the hospital. They crossed through the doors and Meredith was in awe. This was the nicest hospital she remembered her mother working in. They walked towards an office with a lady sitting out front. _

"_Meredith, wait over there for me please." Ellis' tone was less cold. Meredith was used to this, when her coworkers were around she spoke differently. More sweetly, it wasn't quite nice but it was an improvement on the tone she got at home. Meredith did as her mother said and sat on the chair by the lady at the desk. She saw her mother walk into the office, leaving Meredith and the lady alone._

"_Hi Meredith, I'm Rachel." The lady turned towards Meredith and held out her hand. Meredith took the hand. _

"_Hello," she responded to the lady. _

"_Would you like a lollipop," Rachel held the red pop out for Meredith to take._

"_No thank you," Meredith told her. She wasn't going to chance anything, considering her mother is already furious with her. Rachel looked at her funny, and put the pop away. She sat on the chair leaning back and swinging her legs back and forth. She knew her mother would yell at her for her posture, but she didn't care. Not at that moment. _

"_So Meredith, are excited to start your new school." Rachel asked her trying to get a conversation going. The little girl looked so bored. _

_Meredith searched her brain for responses her mother said she was allowed to say. None came to mind. This was an impossible question to answer; she was set up for failure. She contemplated the two choices in her brain. 1) She could not respond and be yelled at for being rude, or 2) she could respond and be yelled for using responses her mother had said she wasn't allowed to say. FAILURE, she decided on 2, the rude speech was far worse than the response one. "Sure," Meredith said, but she didn't realize it sounded ungrateful. She winced, she was doomed, the 'be thankful for what you have Meredith' speech would be coming. Just as Rachel was about to speak her mom and a man came walking through the door._

"_Meredith this is Dr. Thorne." Ellis told Meredith._

_Meredith reached her hand out and said "Hello Dr. Thorne." Dr. Thorne took her hand._

"_Nice to meet you Meredith." Meredith nodded her head._

"_I'm sorry, Rachel, if she was a bother." Meredith knew what was coming. She was preparing herself. _

"_Not a problem at all. She's a very nice kid." She looked at Meredith and smiled. Meredith exhaled a deep breath she didn't realize she was holding in. She smiled back as soon as her mother took her hand._

**END FLASHBACK**

Derek looked at Meredith who was staring out the window. "I know you don't want to talk, but where am I taking you?" Meredith's mind jumped out of the memory and realized Derek was talking.

"Just take me home."

"Okay, but I still don't know where you live." Derek looked at her. Meredith just sighed.

"Take a left here, and then a right at the light. I'm the second house on the left." She told Derek, as she was getting more and more frustrated. They continued to drive in silence until he pulled into her driveway.

"I had fun." Derek told her as he gave a wide grin.

"I bet you did." Meredith stated as she climbed out of the car.

"We should do it again sometime, maybe get to know each other a little more?" Derek asked as Meredith began to shut the door.

"Maybe," she told him as she closed the door. She walked up to the front door and opened it with her key. She turned and watched Derek's car pull out of the driveway. She closed the door as she stepped into the house.

"MEREDITH! I thought you weren't coming home." Jake yelled as he ran towards her.

"I couldn't be around him anymore. It's like he's too happy or something. I don't know I just can't deal with it right now." Meredith told him as she ascended up the stairs.

"Meredith, I have told you so many times before that you are supposed to be happy. The only way to do that is to be around happy people. Derek, well he seems good for you. You actually sounded somewhat happy when you called me this morning." Jake told her as he followed her up the stairs into her room.

"Jake I was yelling at you and at him, how is that happy?" Meredith looked at Jake with sincerity.

"Just the tone of voice Meredith, I know you better than you know you. You need to get over these issues you have, and start to get happy. No one deserves happiness more than you." Meredith pushed Jake out the door.

"Meredith, what the hell?" Jake asked, as the door was shut and locked right in front of his face.

"I need to think, and you being in here is not helping that." Meredith screamed through the barrier between her and her best friend. She slowly slid down the door landing in a tight ball sitting up. She began to think of all her issues and questions started pouring into her head. Why did her father leave? Why did that guy Richard know her so well? Why was her mother so against men? Why was she moved across the country? What was the big deal about her mother? The questions just kept coming, and she felt the need for all of them to be answered. She checked her watch and realized that she has been sitting there for over 30 minutes. She stood up and began to gather clothes so she could take a shower. She opened the door and saw a lifeless and convulsing body lying on the ground. "JAKE?" She screamed as she dropped the clothes and ran to his side.

**Please review, I really enjoy hearing them, and they help me write faster. Updates might take a little longer. Senior year has really been kicking my butt. I want to thank you guys for reading. And PLEASE REVIEW! **


	4. Chapter 4

The sound of the siren blared through her ears as she sat next to the paramedic who was asking her questions about Jake. Questions she couldn't hear because her mind was wondering somewhere in the clouds. She just sat there and stared at her best friend unconscious in the bed in front of her. They have done this to each other so many times before. It just seemed so natural at this moment.

**FLASHBACK**

"_Jake can I ask you a question?" Meredith asked her best friend she had her arm draped across his abdomen and his arm under her neck. The closeness ensuring an exchange of body heat as they lay in the coolness of the night as they looked up at the stars. It was late, but her mom was at the hospital and Jake's mom never really paid attention to where he was. He had too many younger siblings for his mom to worry about, and no father in the picture. By this time in Meredith's life she took care of herself, she grew up a lot since she met Jake. Ten year's old, and she felt like she was out of college and living on her own. _

"_You know you can ask me anything." Jake responded as he looked at the silhouette of her face. The glow of the moonlight made her features prominent. _

"_Why do you think our moms are too busy for us? I mean like my mom is at the hospital all the time and your mom just forgets about you. What do you think it would take for them to recognize that we are here and have been for ten years? Do you think they even love us?" Meredith asked as she turned her head to lock eyes with Jake, a tear slowly falling from her eye landing on a soft blade of grass on the cold ground. _

"_I think they love us as much as they can. They might not see it, they might not want to. But they do because we are their children. They have a maternal feeling. Whether they recognize it or not, they feel the love. Our mothers are busier living the lives they want rather than realize that we are here and need them. I think that they realized we are old and mature enough to take care of ourselves, even though we were forced to, because they left us alone so often. I think we can try to make them recognize that we are still here and are not going anywhere, but I don't think they are going to come to their senses anytime soon. Meredith, we might think we need them, might want their comfort every now and then, but just remember that I am always here for you. I live next door, all you have to do is pick up the phone and I will be climbing in your window in seconds. We are best friends, don't ever forget that. Don't ever forget me Meredith, because I am never going to forget you. " Jake said as he wiped the fresh tear off the bridge of her nose. Meredith sniffled, and hugged Jake even tighter then she was before. A sudden rustle of the bushes interrupted their moment, and they popped their heads up to see a figure appear in front of them. The darkness of the night not allowing the figures face to show. "Who is that?" Jake asked the figure as it slowly crept closer and closer. Meredith noticed the figure getting bigger and bigger until she realized that it wasn't just a boy or a monster. No, it was way worse, it was Mike. Mike, the 5 foot 6 body, the eighth grader that had been beating Jake up every day after school, the boy that was responsible for her best friends misery. The tall kid stood right in front of them, twice the size of Meredith. _

"_So Jakey, we're breaking girl's hearts already?" Mike said as he towered over them and laughed at their scared faces. Meredith and Jake quickly stood up, and Meredith wiped the remaining tears off her face. She was taught to hide her emotions, and this was the exact time for that. 'Show no fear Meredith' she told herself._

"_Why don't you leave me alone Mike, I have done nothing to you, so why don't you just go home." Jake told him as he grabbed Meredith's hand and walked towards her house. _

"_Now what fun would that be Jakey? I'm here now! I can beat you twice in one day. It'll be a treat for you." _

"_Look just leave him alone. It's late, and I'm sure you're going to do it after school tomorrow anyway. Can't it wait?" Meredith told Mike as she removed the rest of the evidence of her tears away._

"_No it can't wait, Honey. I have things to do tomorrow." _

"_Don't call me Honey. There is no sweetness here bud." Meredith's voice slowly began to rise. She turned and pulled Jake towards her house. _

"_Don't walk away from me; I'm not done talking to you!" Mike bellowed, which caused both ten year olds to turn and look at him with fear wiped across their faces. Mike clenched his hand in a fist and lunged forward to hit Jake square in the jaw. Jake squeezed his eyes shut and prepared himself for the pain that was soon to come. Only he stood there for what felt like hours anticipating the contact, but it never arrived. He opened his eyes to find Meredith lying on the ground unconscious and Mike standing in shock. _

"_You punched a girl!" Jake shrieked. Making sure Mike knew it was a statement not a question, because this wasn't a question. He dropped to his knees and shook Meredith. Desperately trying to wake her, "Meredith? Meredith? Wake up, please?" Jake begged as he scooped her into his arms and began running for her house, his bare feet becoming numb as they moved across the frost filled grass and onto the concrete. Jake turned the knob leading into her house and placed her onto the soft couch, and ran to grab the phone in the kitchen._

_XXX_

_Jake ran next to the gurney that was carrying Meredith, as it was pushed into one of the trauma rooms. "Hey man, I'm sorry but you can't go in there," a man said as he had bent down to Jake's height and looked him in the eye._

"_But she's my best friend, and our mom's aren't here and she has nobody. She needs me. She needs someone in there with her. She's all alone." Jake responded as a steady flow of tears ran down his face. _

"_Dr. Victor, take care of the boy and find her parents." Jake heard a doctor call from inside the trauma room. _

"_I'm Matt, why don't we go sit down and talk." Matt, or Dr. Victor told him. _

"_I guess." Jake responded and followed the doctor towards an area that had a bunch of chairs lined up. Matt sat Jake down in the chair next to him._

"_So why don't we start with what with both of your names are. Then we can move on from there, okay?" Matt asked Jake as he handed him a tissue to wipe his soaked face. _

"_Well, my name is Jake, and her name is Meredith." Jake told Matt, and noticed that he had obtained a clip board with forms and began to write stuff on it._

"_Does Meredith have a last name?" _

"_Grey. Can I see her now? Please. She needs a friend, and nobody in that room is her friend. I'm her only friend" Jake cried to the doctor. _

"_Soon buddy. Where are her parents?" _

"_She doesn't have a father, and her mother is at the hospital doing some surgery thing." _

"_So her mom's a surgeon?" Matt asked as he realized that this was Ellis Grey's daughter, the woman who was absolutely terrifying. "Can you page Dr. Grey 9-1-1 for me please?" Matt calmly asked the Nurse who had been walking by. "Here Jake, why don't you come with me and we can go see Meredith," Matt told Jake as he stood up and walked back to the Trauma room. "Jake sit here and don't move. Meredith is still very sick, and we need to take care of her." _

"_Okay" Jake sighed. All he wanted to do was hold her hand as they poked her all over. _

_Ellis Grey came running to the ER. "You pulled me out of surgery Dr. Victor, this better be good." She said as she tried to enter the room of her new patient. "Give me the chart, and move this patient needs a doctor."_

"_Dr. Grey, you're not the doctor on this case, I paged you for another reason." Matt calmly tried to explain to the woman that her daughter was lying on the other side of that door unconscious. _

"_Then why the hell did you page me 9-1-1, and out of surgery if it wasn't even a patient I could tend to." Ellis screamed at the resident standing in front of her. _

"_Dr. Grey, you have a daughter named Meredith is that correct?" He asked her in a voice just above a whisper, not wanting this incident to be picked up by the gossip chain._

"_Yes, what has that child done now? I leave her home for a few hours and she goes and gets in trouble." _

"_Dr. Grey, your daughter was brought in by the paramedics, she is currently unconscious, and had a signs of a minor blunt trauma to her skull. She is came in just a few moments ago; we have ordered a consult from neuro. Her friend Jake is here, I believe he's the one who called 9-1-1. We haven't pressed him for any information yet, we just found out that she was your child." Matt told her as he saw her expression turned from annoyed to terrified. _

"_Let me in." Ellis screamed at Matt. He stepped aside and allowed her to enter the room. She walked in and saw her baby girl lying on the bed, eyes closed, and breathing steady. "Jake, what happened." She softly asked the little boy who was sitting in the corner of the room, head rested in his hands as he cried. _

**END FLASHBACK**

Meredith felt the sudden stop of the ambulance and the two paramedics rushed out. She let them take Jake's gurney out of the truck before she hopped down. She stopped in her tracts as she saw Derek Shepherd walk towards Jake, his trauma gown on and gloves formed around his hand. A perfect fit. His dark hair disheveled, looking like he ran his hand through it all day. "What've we got?" Derek called to the paramedic. As he looked up from the gurney and stared into the soul of Meredith, "Meredith?" he asked lost in his gaze.

"Uh… hi" Meredith said awkwardly as she continued to follow the gurney into the ER of the hospital.

"Dr. Shepherd where do you want us to put him."

"Put him in Trauma 2," Derek said has he raised his hand to point towards the door. "Meredith are you alright. You look tired." Derek asked her as he grabbed her arm and stared into her beautiful green eyes. The kind of eyes he just couldn't get enough of. He could see himself waking up to these beautiful, mystical, magical eyes. Eyes full of pain and wonder.

"Derek, my best friend just had a seizure. Does that sound alright to you?" Meredith glared back at him. Her body tense as she pulled her arm away from Derek's grasp.

"Right… We are going to take really good care of him." Derek told her as he stepped into the trauma room. Meredith walked to a different waiting room; she had done this so many times back on the East Coast, different hospitals, but the same feelings every time.

XXX

"Dr. Marks, what are his vitals?" Derek asked as he began to shine his pen light into Jake's eyes.

"They are stable for now. Heart rate's good, good reflexes," Dr. Marks told Derek

"Okay, take him up to CT and page me when the results are in." Derek told his intern as he began to walk out of the room. He headed to where he knew Meredith was. "Meredith," Derek screamed across the waiting room. He saw her head pop up and noticed her tear streaked face. At that moment all he wanted to do was take her in one big hug, and never let her go. She didn't seem like that type of person, she didn't need someone to hold her. She was strong on her own. As he got closer to her she began to stand up. "Meredith, do you know who his medical proxy is, a mother, father, a sibling, someone who is related to him? We can need someone who can make his medical decisions since he is unable to do it himself." Derek told her as she shrank back down into the chair. He noticed right away that something wasn't right.

"His mom is dead," Meredith told him as she let out a sigh. "He never really had a father, and all of his siblings are younger and in foster care. I am all he has, he's all I have. Derek, you can't let him die. He is my brother, my best friend, since we were eight. He has gotten me through the worst times in my life. Derek you can't let him die." Meredith told Derek as a tears began to stream down her face causing a puddle on the floor.

"I am going to do everything I can Meredith, and that is a promise." Derek told her as he looked sympathetically at her. He knew she had a rough childhood, and that her mother worked a lot. All he had to do was Google her, it didn't take a neurosurgeon to know what a career she had. Ellis Grey was known all over the world. All her techniques were cutting edge, and she was always reinventing herself.

"Now doctor, you know you should never promise a patient's family a good outcome." Meredith heard a familiar voice call from behind her. The voice that practically ruined her childhood, the voice that gave her chills, the voice cold and emotionless. She cringed before she turned around to meet the cold eyes of her mother.


	5. Chapter 5

"Mom, what are you doing here?" Meredith asked her mother, as they stood in the middle of the aisle of the waiting room. She glared at her mother, hoping she was not here to try to make her change her mind.

"You are a fool Meredith Grey," Ellis told her daughter. The naïve little 18 year old who is just starting to learn the meaning of life. "Meredith the goal of life is to get a great job, be extraordinary at it, and make good money. You don't need anything to get in your way of that."

"Mom, my priorities are so much different than yours. You want a great job, I want a great life." Ellis' expression didn't change; the same cold eyes and a selfish look stared into Meredith the same way that it had for Meredith's entire life, always causing Meredith adjusted her posture. "We are two completely different people. I can do whatever I want, and you can't tell me what to do anymore."

Derek looked between the two women and decided this was a good time to interrupt. "Meredith, Dr. Grey why don't we talk about this in the conference room down the hall. It has more privacy." He whispered just loud enough so only they could hear. The two ladies agreed and followed Derek's lead. They passed many exam rooms before they arrived. Derek stopped in front of the conference room, and opened the door for them. "I'll just wait out here." He told them before beginning to close the door.

"Please come in Derek, I am going to need someone to be the witness at the trial!" Meredith whispered in his ear as she entered the room. Ellis was completely oblivious to this gesture, to busy reliving all the memories this hospital had held.

"Does Richard Webber still work here?" Ellis asked Derek.

"Mom? You're seriously worrying about the chief while we're in the middle of a fight? I just don't understand you." Meredith looked at her mother as sadness crept across her face as she remembered her best friend still fighting for his life down the hall.

"Richard's the Chief of Surgery?" Ellis asked Derek as a huge smile crept across her face. She ignored her daughter desperate attempt to finish this conversation they needed to have.

"Um…Yeah," Derek saw the look on Meredith's face and decided to take Ellis out of the room. "Yeah, I think he's in his office. Do you want me to take you to him?" Derek asked Ellis.

"That would be fantastic, thank you!" Ellis replied keeping the smirk on her face as she followed Derek out the door and in the direction of the chief's office.

Meredith sunk into a chair at the end of the table by the door. She laid her head on the large conference table enjoying the time to think.

**FLASHBACK**

_"Mom, you don't look happy!" Meredith told her mother as Meredith slumped into the passenger seat of the car._

_ "Meredith! There is a huge trauma at the hospital and I had to leave because you couldn't behave yourself on the playground." Ellis yelled at her daughter._

_ "Mom! I'm thirteen, it's not a playground, and all we do is walk in circles. I didn't do anything I swear. This kid came up and started talking about something that annoyed me so I punched him. It's really no big deal." Meredith tried to reason with her mother._

_ "Well, if it wasn't a big deal then why did I have to come get you? Meredith I don't have time for you to start acting out. Like you said you're thirteen, by now you know the difference between right and wrong." Ellis told her daughter as they entered the parking lot of the hospital. _

"_You're not taking me home?" Meredith asked her mother with innocence in her eyes._

"_No Meredith I am not taking you home. I have a surgery in 20 minutes. You are going to sit in the gallery and study! If I see you start to move from your seat I will have my intern scrub out and sit next to you the entire time. I will promise you that my intern would not like that and will make your life miserable." Ellis sternly told her daughter as they began to walk towards the elevator. _

"_Fine! But what if I get hungry?" Meredith asked her mom as they stepped onto the surgical floor._

"_Dr. O'Brien, go get me healthy snacks from the cafeteria, deliver them to her in the gallery," Ellis pointed to Meredith. "Then come to the OR and scrub in. Make sure they are healthy, no chips!" Ellis directed to her intern. _

"_Thank you Dr. Grey," The intern yelled as he hurried off._

"_Thank you," Meredith thanked her mom and began to go up to the OR gallery to take her seat for her mother's surgery! As Meredith took out her book the intern arrived with her 'snacks'. "Thanks" Meredith told the intern who disappeared. She turned back to her Biology book and began to answer the questions her teacher gave her. "I can't believe this!" Meredith said as she closed her book. _

"_What are you doing here? You're not supposed to be here." A female resident she didn't know yelled at someone. Meredith turned her head to see who the resident was talking to. At least a fight would be more fun than mitosis. Meredith looked at the doctor only to realize she was speaking to her. _

_Meredith picked up her hand and waved to her mom. Ellis had looked up at that exact moment to ensure that Meredith was doing her homework. The resident looked towards Dr. Grey and saw a nod of her head. "You are obviously new. Let me spell it out for you. You see Dr. Grey in there? Yeah, she's my mother, and I'm not allowed to move! So if you don't want me in here, than you'd have to take it up with her. I mean I'd be fine waiting in her office, but these are her orders and she's already super mad at me right now. So go ahead and go down there to talk to her, because there is no way I'm going to do it." Meredith replied as she heard a grunt of the resident. Meredith laughed as she saw the female sulk out of the gallery._

"_I seriously can't believe you just told Dr. Thrupp off. No one tells Dr. Thrupp what she can and can't do." Meredith turned her head to see male resident looking at her._

"_Yet, she's a surgical resident." Meredith responded sarcastically to the doctor._

"_I'm Dr. Carsley, what did you do that you got stuck in here?" The man stood up and began to move towards the empty seat next to Meredith. _

"_Isn't a child allowed to watch her fabulous mother perform a surgery?" Meredith sarcastically asked the doctor._

"_Um… Usually a child wouldn't want to watch an eight hour surgery. I barely want to watch an eight hour surgery." Dr. Carsley responded to Meredith with a smirk on his face. _

"_Fine, if you must know. I punched this kid at school; apparently it says in the rule book that you're not allowed to do that. So I'm suspended for 3 days. Mom wasn't too happy, so here I am." Meredith said as she laughed._

"_Your school doesn't allow you to punch people? That's crazy." Dr. Carsley laughed._

_ "I know right? So now I get to sit in here all day and 'study'." Meredith complained. "I mean why study? I've known the process of mitosis since I was like 5. I could name all the phases of mitosis and meiosis." Meredith told the only doctor that was brave enough to have a conversation with her. _

_ "Well then I can see where studying that could be a bit boring." Dr. Carsley told her as he laughed. _

_ "You have no idea." Meredith laughed as she looked back down into the operating room._

_ "Meredith, why isn't that book open and why is your mouth moving? If you're willing to punch a child, then you must be willing to face the punishment. I want to see a 4 page paper on the chapter you're doing in Biology by dinner." Meredith heard Ellis call from the OR. _

_ "Seriously, you're serious right now? Like not joking? That's impossible, that's 4 hours." Meredith yelled at her mother from above. _

_ "Maybe next time you'll think before you get yourself suspended. Now get to work." Ellis said before she returned to her patient lying on the operating table._

_ "Man, your mom is tough on you. Kind of like she is on me," Dr. Carsley pointed out._

_ "Yet you're a surgical resident. I'm her daughter. I can't believe this. 4 freakin pages in 4 hours? That's like physically impossible." Meredith told Dr. Carsley as she opened her book and began to write the paper her mother had ordered her to write. _

**END FLASHBACK**

"Meredith, I believe we have a conversation to continue." Ellis stated as she shook Meredith from her memory.

"We do." Meredith looked up to meet the cold stare of her mother.

"Meredith I want you to come home with me. This boy who you ran across the country for is just distracting you from your dreams." Ellis dictated.

"What dreams are you talking about, the dream about me becoming a great surgeon, just like you? Yeah, that's not my dream. I don't want to be like you. In fact I'd rather clean toilets than turn out to be anything like you." Meredith yelled as she started to become angry, "And for leaving, I'm not going anywhere, especially with you. Jake needs me mom, and I'm not just going to leave him. So if you want to go be my guest, but I'm not stepping one foot out of those hospital doors until he's better."

"Meredith Grey. You will come back to Boston with me, and you will not fight with me. I am your mother."

"You can't tell me what to do anymore. I'm 18, I am old enough to vote, and drive, and make my own medical decisions, and I am certainly old enough to decide what I want to do. So no, I'm not going back to Boston with you. End of story."

"I don't know where I went wrong with you Meredith. You used to be so focused, and now look at you, you're weak. You need to fix that. So go back to Boston, go to Boston University like we planned, and go to medical school, and become a surgeon. Because that is what you were born to do. It's in your blood Meredith, my father was a surgeon and I am a surgeon. Follow your family." Ellis looked at her daughter with a satisfied look on her face; satisfied because of her inspirational advice to her lost daughter.

"Mom, I don't know what your father told you, but that is the shittiest advice that has ever come out of your mouth. I want to live my life to the fullest. Do everything I can within this window of fifty years. I don't want to be like you, who regrets her daughter's existence, have no one to come home to at night. All you do is work mom, which is all you have ever done. You never went to my middle school achievement ceremonies, science fairs, writing seminars. Hell, you never made it to my high school graduation. You have never once told me you love me, or that you were proud of me. Nothing I did was ever enough for you. The excuse you used for not attending my graduation was that I wasn't Valedictorian so it wasn't worth your time. Now Jake, mom… Jake is my family. He tells me he loves me, is proud of me, and he was at my graduation and everything that has ever been important to me. I do the exact same thing for him. Since forever mom, he has been my rock, my parent. We have taught each other right from wrong, good from bad, and even love from hate. He is not something you can tell me I can't see, because mom he is not a distraction, he is an encourager. Something I have never gotten from you. While you've been busy crushing my dreams he has been the one who told me I would reach them. And mom? This dream is coming true; I need it to come true." Meredith, with tears in her eyes threatening to spill, let out the breath she didn't know she was holding.

"Fine Meredith, if you want to be like this, then you're not going to do it in my house in Seattle. So I'm going to go there and stay the night I will place your stuff in front of the garage. Your credit card will be out of use. Good luck finding a place to sleep, and a way to get money." Ellis responded calmly as she left the room. Meredith stood there in shock, not knowing how the conversation ended up with her being homeless and broke.


	6. Chapter 6

**Okay, so I am VERY pleased with this Chapter. Remember R&R! Enjoy!**

As tears streamed down Meredith's face, she slowly began to sink down to the floor. Knees pressed so close to her chest she could feel the jean material against her neck. Her chin rested on her knees. Out of the corner of her eye she saw feet stepping closer and closer. The shoes moved very slowly almost like she was going to break and run for the door at any second. The feet stopped and the owner sank down next to her as the owners voice questioned, "Mer? Meredith? Hey, Mer, you need to breathe. Come on Mer deep breaths." She looked up gasping for air, and was met with Derek and his beautiful bright blue eyes.

"I...I...I can't," Meredith responded her breaths becoming more deep and more rapid.

"Meredith, look at me. Deep breaths, come on you can do it. Just look at me. Follow my breaths, nice and slow." Derek guided her in hopes she didn't begin to hyperventilate. Derek sat with his arms wrapped tightly around her as his chin rested on the top of her head. Meredith placed her head on the center of Derek's chest feeling his breaths and listening to the steady beat of his heart. Her breaths began to slow and Derek wrapped his arms tightly around her small body. He held her in that position until the tears had stopped streaming down her face. Meredith raised her head off his chest and was met with Derek's sympathetic look. He began unwrapping his arms from around her body but was stopped.

"No, not yet. This is nice." Meredith said as se rested her head back on his chest.

"Okay Mer." Derek nodded as he wrapped his arms around her once again. The two sat like that for what felt like 5 minutes, 5 perfect minutes of quiet until there was a knock at the door. "Who is it?" Derek asked the intruder on the other side of the door.

"It's Dr. Marks, your patient is awake and responsive. There's no results from the tests yet, but it looks good so far." The intern responded from the other side of the door.

"Okay, I'll be there soon to check up on him." Derek thanked the doctor, and unwrapped his arms from Meredith and began to stand up. "Meredith, are you okay?" The look of sympathy wiped across his face.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just don't give me that look. This has been my life... for like forever. I'm just surprised it taken me this long to break down and cry." Meredith told him as she slowly began to stand up, pulling herself together and wiping her tear stained face. "Can I see Jake now?" She asked as she headed towards the door. Any signs of her breakdown had disappeared.

"Yeah, but Mer, are you sure?" Derek said as he followed her out the door and began to lead her towards Jake's room.

"Derek, like I said this has been my life forever, and I don't expect it to change now." Meredith sadly stated. Derek walked next to her and intertwined his hand with hers only for it to be strangled by hers. They stopped outside a door, closed as a barrier between reality and the hospital bubble most patients feel. "I should go in."

"Yeah you should. I'll be right outside." Derek said trying to free his hand from the tight embrace of hers. Meredith's grip tightened as she stood still in front of the door.

"I'm going in now." Meredith said as she stood there.

"Okay."

"I'm going to do it."

"Meredith, what are you afraid of?" Derek said as Meredith's grip tightened.

"Not afraid, nervous."

"Okay, well go, because your friend needs you."

"Right. I'm going in now." Meredith said a she released her death grip from Derek's hand. She took a step forward, closing the gap between her and the door. She slowly opened the door. Her face popping in.

"Meredith? God, finally a familiar face. What the hell happened?" Jake asked as soon as he saw Meredith's peek in through a crack in the door.

Meredith took a step in the room, and sat in the chair next to the hospital bed. "We fought, and you waited outside my room for about an hour, and when I exited you were on the ground seizing. Jake, what the hell happened?" Meredith asked as she tried to pull herself together.

"I don't know Mer. I just, I don't know." Jake responded as he wiped a stray tear left on her face.

"You must be tired, go to sleep. I'll be here, I'm not leaving." She told Jake as she gripped his hand tightly. She looked at her eat friend slowly drift off in a much needed sleep. Now only if she could sleep.

**FLASHBACK**

"Meredith? Meredith!" Ellis called from the bottom of the stairs.

"Yes mother?" Meredith said out of breath from the sprint to the top of the staircase.

"I want you out of my house. Do you hear me. I don't want to see you here in the next fifteen minutes. This is unacceptable." Ellis once again yelled. Causing Meredith to take a step back not knowing what was going to come.

"What? What is unacceptable? What did I do?" Meredith asked with a look of innocence plastered across her face.

"You know what you did Meredith. You always know what you did." Ellis screamed as she motioned for Meredith to come down the stairs. "If you don't remember this time I'll show you what you did." Meredith obeyed her mother and followed her into the dining room. She looked at her mothers face then followed the outline of her body and down arm until she found the location her mother was pointing at. The liquor cabinet. Meredith held back every instinct that told her to drop her lower jaw.

"I didn't drink those." Meredith told her mother. Ellis bent down, opened the cabinet to find 3 empty bottles of Josè Cuervo.

"This is the third time Meredith. The third time I have opened this cabinet to find it empty. Now I want you to leave this house and feed you addiction somewhere else. Because frankly Meredith I'm not made of money, and my 16 year old daughter will not be an alcoholic."

"You want to know why I drank those 3 bottles mother? You're never home, and when you are home you dismiss me like I'm some psychiatrist in the hospital. No wait not like a psychiatrist, the exact same way you dismiss a psychiatrist. Like your time is better spent ignoring the fact that I exist. That is why those 3 bottles are empty,not because I'm some kind of alcoholic. And can I add that they were consumed over a 3 week period not in one day? Oh and another thing, you're one of the best General Surgeons in the world, you kid of are made of money. But, I'll be out in five minutes." Meredith stated. She began to run up the stairs and grabbed a bag, stuffing as much clothing she could in it. She ran down the stairs and out the door into the dark night without saying a word.

**XXX**

Meredith took long strides until she arrived at Jakes house. She wrapped her bag securely around her body and began to climb up the side of the garage and hopped on the roof. She tip toed over to jakes bedroom window and knocked on the glass. "Jake" she whispered hoping he'd wake up to the faint sound of her voice. She saw his bedside lamp light up, and a shadow begin to make it's way over to the window she was standing at.

"Mer? What are you doing here?" Jake asked as he opened his window, and stretching his arms above his head.

"My mother kicked me out, again." Meredith told him as she shoved her bag in the window and began to climb it in.

"Again? What did you do this time?" Jake asked as they sat on his bed.

"She found the empty bottles of Josè. I mean it's about time. They've been there for a while." Meredith said as she laid her head down on Jakes pillow.

"Oh man, Mer this is the fourth time this month. You have got to stop doing stuff your mother disapproves of. It's getting old, my beds not big enough." Jake laughed.

"Yeah, this'll blow over, just like everything else has. She has got to lower her expectations for me though. To tell you the truth the higher he makes them the lower I'm going to perform. I mean, why reach her expectations if se just keeps raising them before you get there?"

"That's a good point, but seriously Mer, you're going to need money and stuff for whatever you decide you want to do later in life. And Mer, your mom is loaded."

"Yeah she is." Meredith said with a yawn.

"It's been an eventful night Mer, go to sleep." Jake said as he laid down next to her.

**END FLASHBACK**

"Meredith?" Derek said as he took a step into the room to check on Jake's stats. Meredith's head popped up off of her shoulder. She stretched her arms out and shook the stiffness from her neck.

"Hmmm?" Meredith said as she turned her head around to look Derek in the eye.

"You really need to sleep. You've been here for a good twenty-four hours." Derek told her.

"I did sleep." Meredith responded snarkily.

"No you didn't. You sat in a chair, and rested your head on your shoulder. You didn't sleep Meredith. You need a good night's rest," Derek told her. He walked slowly up to her and began massaging her neck.

"Yeah, I do. But where do you expect me to do that Derek? I don't have a bed to sleep in. Remember?"

"I do remember. Jake's going to be here a while, and I... I thought I would take you home to get a good night's sleep. I'll sleep on the couch again, but you do need sleep." Derek asked nervously.

"Yeah. Okay, I'd like that." Meredith told him as she began to stand up. "But Derek? You don't need to sleep on the couch, you have a big bed." Meredith said with a wink.


End file.
